I’m feeling the weight of life’s fragility tonight. Two people  – one of my brother’s long-time friends and a student’s father – have been killed in car accidents within the last week or two. I didn’t know either of them personally, but my heart is feeling heavy for the people I do know are missing them so, so much.

My poor brother. His friend, Rudy, was only 21. And yesterday his life ended on the way to work in Los Angeles. I can’t even bring myself to imagine that life-shattering phone call his parents received from halfway across the country. One commute to work. One phone call. 

My student went to school one morning not knowing it would be the last time she’d see her dad. Her mom came into conferences tonight, flanked by her sister and younger son. Her eyes were teary and red, and she apologized for losing it right outside my classroom. When she told me that her daughter (my student), who is autistic, is asking every day when her dad is coming home, she held her hands to her face and sobbed. What was I to do except cry with her? 

This morning when I read the news that another teacher was killed by another student who somehow got a hold of a gun (again again again), I really questioned whether it was even safe to come to work any more. I mean, really. 

But death creeps up on us all no matter where we go to work, no matter how much our children need us, no matter how many times our parents will wish it could have been them instead. Death doesn’t always suck, but sometimes it really, really does. 

To be very honest and quite personal, I’m not a religious person anymore. Sometimes that makes things like this harder for me. I do, however, believe in the power of good thoughts and positivity. I will send out my love and support tonight and hope it reaches someone.




*Update: More recent news sources state the young man who killed his teacher on Tuesday afternoon did not use a gun. He used a box cutter.   Even worse. 


9 responses to “Weight

  1. I started a reply which threatened to turn into a long ramble about a whole lot of stuff, so I’ve deleted it! I’ll keep it to – “I know how you feel. Every day.”

  2. Very well said, honey. You are correct in saying that death doesn’t always suck. It can be a very peaceful occurrence, when someone reaches the end of their life….and say 95 or so. When younger people die, it’s never easy, no matter how they passed. I’m sad for Joe and his friends…and I’m especially saddened for Rudy’s family.

  3. I’ve been reading all the news stories too and it makes my heart sad. So sorry to hear about your brother’s friend. My own brother’s friend died just a few months ago and while I didn’t know him personally, the toll it took on my brother was so hard. I hope you get to feeling in a better place soon. ((HUGS))

    • Thank you, Rachael! My brother is having a hard time, yes. I feel lucky to have not lost a friend yet in my life. It seems unusually cruel when it has to be someone so young with so much left to do in life.

      • Thanks, Katy! I really love the idea and now we sit and rock in her room before bed and look at the glowing stars while singing Twinkle Twinkle. LOL. It’s great!

  4. Well said, Katy. Life is so very fragile. It’s easy to take things for granted. XO

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