This is how we negotiate. (Is this even negotiation? Eh, who cares?)
The other night at dinner Chris asked me, “If we couldn’t have another kid, would you automatically want to adopt or would it be a conversation?”
“Oh, it would be a conversation,” I said. “Adoptions are expensive and take a really long time. I’d probably still want to do it, but we’d have a conversation.” I felt so very reasonable with my response.
“Oh! Okay,” Chris replied.
“Are you surprised?” I asked. He looked surprised.”Would you want to have a conversation?”
“I would, but I just wasn’t sure you would.”
We ate in silence for a few seconds while I thought about all this. Suddenly, I thought of something: “Wait, you’re talking about adopting a third child, aren’t you? Not the second?”
His eyed widened. “The third?! No, we wouldn’t adopt a third. The second, the one after Charlotte.”
What? Was he seriously even asking me that question? He should know better.
“Oh, then there’d be no conversation. We’d adopt.” That was that, in my book.
He snorted out a laugh and shook his head, like he always does when I say something as ridiculous as he expects.
I’m a little concerned. “So it wouldn’t be an automatic yes for you then? You’d actually have to consider it?”
“Well, yeah,” he said, pushing the last of his rice around the bowl. Then he looked up, “But I’d probably say we should do it — especially if you really wanted to.”
I smiled. “Then I’d probably say we could have a conversation about it.”
*We’ve actually had many conversations about how we’d like to grow our family, including discussions about adoption, so this was not the first time we’d talked about this sort of thing. For the record, we’re talking about it simply because it’s just fun to imagine the possibilities. We like babies, and we like the idea of having more of them in our life. 🙂
(Nope, not pregnant.)